Dirty Clothes, an Unclean Room, Poor Hygiene: What to Do When Basic Care Slips

When your parent is wearing the same clothes for days, her hair has not been done, or her room smells or looks untidy, it can feel like a small thing and a big one at the same time. Basic care is a large part of what you are paying for, and it is often the first place problems show.

Be specific about what you see

"She doesn't look cared for" is hard to act on. "She has been in the same top for three days, her nails are long, and her bathing day has passed" gives staff something to check. Note the date and what you saw, and take a photo of the room if you can do so respectfully.

Ask what her plan says about bathing and personal care

Bathing, dressing, grooming, and toileting help should be part of her care plan or service plan, including how often and how much help she needs. Ask to see what is written. Many concerns come down to the gap between what was agreed to and what is happening.

Ask if she is refusing, and what has been tried

Some residents, especially with dementia, refuse showers or help with care. That can be a real reason for what you are seeing, but it is not the end of the conversation. Ask what approaches have been tried, such as a different time of day, a different caregiver, or a different method, and whether it is documented.

Raise it with the right person

Tell the nurse or care coordinator on her hall what you've seen and ask when you'll hear back. If nothing changes, email the director of nursing or executive director, with the dates and what you asked for.

When it keeps happening

If the same problem comes back after you have raised it, it is more likely a staffing or process issue than an individual mistake. I have managed these communities and I know how daily care is supposed to be assigned, checked, and documented.

If you have asked these questions and the answers still do not add up, call me at (703) 867-0540. And if you do not feel able to take these steps yourself, I can do it for you.